Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
then he tried to convert me to islam
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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