why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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