i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
