escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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