Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
high people should be assigned attendants
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
