You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Randomize
