I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
