You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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