I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize