Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
