Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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