Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Randomize