I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I intend to get homeless drunk
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
