just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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