I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
