butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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