thus making me awesome and them whores
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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