Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
