I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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