I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
