Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
