no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
