No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
