I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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