Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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