I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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