Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
