And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
