Can Purell be used as lube?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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