Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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