have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
