sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
third nipple confirmed
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
