just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize