frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize