dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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