just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
