trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
