You're so nebulous sometimes
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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