There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
