Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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