Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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