would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
