he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
