that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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