she was so not down for the gang bang
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
