I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize