i don't plan on having that self control this summer
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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