My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
