What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
