her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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