i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
