The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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