Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i believe in u and ur pee
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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