Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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