I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
