i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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