I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
