WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
BRING THE BAGELS
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