Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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