Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
