she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
What a dumb baby whore.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
