All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize