I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
