So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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