vagina is talking i cant
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
