IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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