i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
