I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
