So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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