there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
