There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
