I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He uses pillows to masturbate.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
please don't ironically join a cult
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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