he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
