i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
