You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the day after is always just damage control
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
