Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
