Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
