Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
