I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You're like the curious george of whores
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize