just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
